@SteveSchneider
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Recent Posts
- MYSTERY AMERICA: Border Patrol
- The DMV
- Annoyatarians: A Real Conversation with a Real Meathead
- Going to the Gym
- Shoot Me
- Weddings Are Fun!
- Cheap Ass Motherfuckers
- X’s and Ohs…
- inDirecTV
- Actors: The Most Important People on the Planet
- Mind Over Manners — Part Too
- Mind Over Manners
- There’s the Rub (and Tug)
- Wet Hot American Shower (Sex)
- It’s Just Lunch
- I Don’t Care Anymore
- I hate cats (not the musical)
- Random Things about Steve Schneider
- Dictures
- Birthdays
- Awkward Moments in Time
- 10 things i hate (not including you)
- me vs. you
- kiddie porn
- Dating
- Names
- Couch Time
- I Heart Airplanes
- Ikea
- Shit Story
Watch Schneider’s Videos
Tag Archives: surprise party
Birthdays
Birthdays are annoying. Everything about them. For one, what are you talking about? This isn’t the thirteenth century. There’s really no need to celebrate surviving another year. The only people who should be excited by birthdays are old people. And when you’re old, you know what you get for your birthday? You get a fucking phone call. That’s what you get, and you’re grateful. It’s what old people live for. “Can’t wait for my birthday so I can find out if my grandchildren are still alive.” Continue reading →