Tag Archives: glamour shots

The DMV

The DMV is an excellent place to bring both your baby who is one week old and screaming constantly along with your two year old daughter who can’t sit still and is running all over the place with mud all over her face pulling the forms out of people’s hands. I want to hurt her. Continue reading

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Dating

All of my friends have girlfriends. It’s so gay. Alright I’m only saying that because I’m jealous. I feel like such a loser when I go on a double date and I show up with a puppet and my friends are like, “Hey Steve, nice puppet!” And I’m like, “Shut the fuck up! This isn’t a puppet. She’s a real person and you better start treating her with a little respect.” And they’re like, “That’s definitely a puppet. You’re moving her mouth with your hand and her hair is made of yarn.” And I’m like, “Dude you’re wrong – just drop it.” Continue reading

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